


Fundamentals of Air Conditioning and Risk Management

by 5StarPlaty



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Multi, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-06-08
Packaged: 2018-03-19 13:58:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3612579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/5StarPlaty/pseuds/5StarPlaty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set about "a week" after the events of the season 5 finale. </p>
<p>Jeff realises - with the help of friends and a little liquid courage - that he needs to stop running away from his feelings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally a one-shot called "Icebreaker" that grew into 3 chapters... and then I got a follow-up idea. So it'll be about 5-6 chapters in total (muse-willing). Anyway, that's the main reason why this has a pathetic summary. ;) The idea just kept evolving.
> 
> Also chapters 1-4 were written mid-2014, so there are no references to anything season 6 related.

"So, you…?" Ian Duncan poured himself another glass.  
  
"So I asked everyone to turn around and imagined conversations with them."  
  
"Why?"  
  
Jeff’s brow furrowed. "Why did I ask them to turn—?"  
  
"I thought you said the computer started up because of a _feeling_. Did you lie about that?"  
  
"No, no... It did." Jeff emptied his glass.  
  
"Carry on, then."  
  
"I— I really should go home."  
  
"You're avoiding now, Winger. It obviously meant a lot if it opened the door."  
  
"There was more than a literal door that got opened."  
  
Duncan poured more whisky into Jeff's glass. "Do tell."  
  
"Do you know something already?" Jeff picked up the glass and eyed his friend suspiciously.  
  
“Oh, I— I just know it wasn’t Britta.”  
  
Jeff swallowed and then drank from his glass.  
  
“And I’m pretty sure it wasn’t Pelton either, no matter what he tells everyone.”  
  
Jeff’s eyes widened. “Oh god,” he drank the rest of the whisky. Duncan picked up the bottle again, but Jeff put his hand over the glass. “You’ve guessed then.”  
  
“I guessed long before you started drinking. So, are you going to do anything about it?”  
  
“Do anything…” Jeff reached for the bottle, but Duncan pulled it away. Jeff glared at him, “What could I possibly do?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Duncan shrugged. “Tell her?”  
  
“Or I could just drink the shame away.”  
  
Duncan scoffed. “What’s to be shameful about?”  
  
“She’s twen—” Jeff shook his head. “I’m for—”  
  
“Come on, you’re not married. You don’t have kids. She might be a little too short for you, but that’s due to the Kentucky Fried hormones you ingested as a teenager.” Duncan laughed, “And clearly the ages don’t matter that much since you could barely get them out.” He stood and walked back to his desk.  
  
Jeff sighed. “Why did I come to you for life advice?”  
  
“Is that what you came here for? I thought it was my liquor.” Duncan put the whisky bottle in the top drawer.  
  
“I think I’ve had too much to drive.”  
  
Duncan shuffled towards the door, “Just as well there are a few students staying back tonight. I could get one of them to take you home.” Duncan touched his forehead. “I might get one to take me home too,” he opened the door and sneaked a peek along the hallway. Duncan smiled at the smartly dressed young woman walking towards his office. “Miss Edison, what are you still doing here?” Duncan turned back to smirk at Jeff’s annoyed expression. He stepped outside the room, keeping the door ajar, and held onto the wall.  
  
“Professor Duncan, are you okay?” Annie sniffed the air. “It’s a bit early for that isn’t it?”  
  
“Not for me, but,” Duncan pushed the door open, “Maybe for him.”  
  
Jeff dropped his hands from the window and smiled at Annie. He pocketed the key he’d found in Duncan’s top drawer. “Hello Annie.”  
  
“Jeff?” Annie glanced at Duncan and walked into the office. “Why were you—?”  
  
“Mr Winger needs a ride back to his place. Do you know where that is?”  
  
“Yes, but—”  
  
Jeff shook his head. “I can just get a taxi.”  
  
“Nonsense, carpooling is good for the environment.”  
  
Annie eyed Duncan suspiciously. “Since when do you—?”  
  
“Goodnight Winger. You too Miss Edison.” Duncan patted Jeff’s shoulder and pushed him away from the desk. He waved as Annie left the office and gestured for Jeff to follow.  
  
Jeff stopped at the door and scowled. “It’s the student-teacher thing too.”  
  
“Why?” Duncan walked towards Jeff. “You should be thankful she’s now a student teacher.”  
  
“What?”  
  
Duncan held the door and swung it between his fingers. “Oh, you didn’t—?” He laughed and pointed, “Icebreaker.”  
  
Jeff stepped back as the door slammed shut. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff continues trying to avoid the truth, but he soon realises things will change between him and Annie no matter what he does.

“Are you coming, Jeff?”  
  
His shoulders dropped as he turned away from the door to look at the young woman. She stood by the lockers; her focus on what was inside her briefcase. He hadn’t noticed exactly what she was wearing earlier or how her hair had been styled. Jeff forced his eyes to blink as he gazed at her tight ponytail hairdo accompanied by a smart pant suit with billowing white blouse. She then straightened up and her determined cheeks soon caught up to her detached expression.  
  
“Jeff, are you coming?”  
  
Something had changed. He wasn’t looking at an upset Annie, or a tired Annie; not even the Annie that hit raw nerves with poignant speeches that he last witnessed just one week before. This Annie was new to him, and she scared him more than all the other Annies combined.  
  
“I have to leave now, Jeff. So if you’re not coming with me, I guess I’ll just see you tomorrow.”  
  
“No,” Jeff took one step forward on purpose and another by accident. He’d forgotten about the whisky. Jeff leaned against the lockers to steady himself. Annie’s car keys rattled in her left hand as she checked the phone with her right. Jeff smiled at her. “Are you nervous about something?”  
  
“I’m just waiting on a phone call about a possible part-time job. Nothing all that—” she looked up at him. “You’re ready to leave then?” She pocketed her phone, but held onto the keys. “My car’s just outside. Duncan got me a good spot.” Annie stepped to the side and walked away.  
  
Jeff kept close to the lockers as he followed her down the corridor and then shuffled out the door. His land-legs regained their stability when his shoes hit the concrete outside, but he didn’t catch up to Annie’s brisk pace until she stood waiting at her car. It was only eight parking spots from the entrance. Jeff tapped on the car roof when he reached the passenger door. “This is what your student-teacher thing gets you?”  
  
Annie shrugged. “It’s one of the perks.”  
  
She opened her door and then reached over to unlock the passenger side door. Jeff did his best to not look at her billowing blouse through the window. He opened the door and climbed into the snug passenger seat. “It’s a bit—”  
  
“There’s a thing under the seat,” Annie said, pointing at the floor. She turned the ignition on and wound down a window. “Sorry, there’s no air-con. It needs fixing but I don’t have the money yet.”  
  
“That’s fine,” Jeff pulled the lever under the chair and relaxed his long legs. He then knocked his head on the roof. Jeff winced, “Better for the environment.”  
  
Annie laughed and turned her head to look behind the car. She glanced at the rear-view mirror and then put the car into reverse. The car backed out of its space slowly. Annie turned the car around and then drove towards the exit.  
  
Jeff glanced at Annie. “So what’s the job?”  
  
“Library assistant,” Annie replied, keeping her eyes on the road.  
  
Jeff had expected more than that. He had always expected more than that. He’d expected a lot from Annie over the last five years and she almost always lived up to those expectations. And when she didn’t, it had been because Jeff had forgotten what she meant to him. Or, rather, he had ignored what she meant to him and pursued a relationship with someone he could barely stand to listen to without interrupting with a snide remark. But Jeff loved to hear Annie talk; he loved to hear her talk to him. Something had definitely changed. It wasn’t just her new hairstyle or her closer parking spot. Why wasn’t she talking to him now? Why had they barely seen each other in the week since they saved Greendale? Why did he have to learn about the student-teacher thing from Duncan?  
  
He decided to ask a question out loud instead. “So, what are the hours?”  
  
“Weekends mostly,” Annie shrugged. “Some night shifts. It’ll depend on my availability during the week. They say they’re flexible.”  
  
Jeff nodded, thankful she gave him more information to sift through.  
  
“So you’ll be staying on at Greendale then?”  
  
“What?” Annie glanced at him and then back at the road. “Of course,” she replied with a smile. “At least until I see a reason to leave. That place keeps me grounded,” Annie chuckled. “My time away after graduation proved that. It’s just not keeping me afloat financially, so I need to find something that will. The library job might not be my dream, but it’ll help me get there. So will Greendale.”  
  
Jeff grinned. “I agree,” he caught her quick look back at him. “And I’m glad you’re staying. Greendale needs you.” He caught the eye roll too, and it was then that he realised there was more to her withdrawal than just figuring out her next career move. Jeff looked ahead and thought over his next statement.  
  
“Here’s your building.” Annie stopped the car near the entrance. “Can you walk?”  
  
The tone of her voice suggested she’d shut down from him again. Jeff knew he needed to get the emotions in play if anything was to get sorted out that night. The components were there, and they had worked perfectly a moment before; the mainframe just needed a reboot. A blast of human…  
  
Jeff twitched at the door slam and stared at Annie’s small frame orbiting the car. She opened his door and gestured for him to get out. Jeff fumbled with his seatbelt and eased his legs onto the pavement. He noticed Annie’s briefcase near her feet and listened to the jangling of her car keys while she helped him stand. Jeff put his arm around her shoulders, but she spun around and locked his side of the car. Annie picked up her briefcase and put an arm around Jeff’s back. He leaned into her just enough to make her think he was less steady than he’d appeared.  
  
“Thank you, Milady.”  
  
Annie paused, but she gave no verbal response. Her expression was hard to decipher at that angle, but Jeff waited for her to sense his eyes upon her. It wasn’t until they were in the elevator that he noticed her lips quivering. She blinked and a single tear slipped down her cheek. Annie turned her head to the side. Jeff put his hand out, but moved it away when she stepped back. The elevator opened and Annie walked into the hallway. She looked back at Jeff holding the doors open.  
  
“Have you got your keys?”  
  
There was no sign of the Disney face now. Jeff pulled the keys out of his pocket and Annie grabbed them before they slipped out of his hand.  
  
“Watch it, or you’ll have to stay at the Dean’s place tonight.” She pointed at the narrow gap in the floor. Annie sighed and walked towards Jeff’s apartment. She unlocked the door, muttering, “And that’ll just validate his story.”  
  
Jeff stopped by the door marked 203. There was an immediate gasp and the sound of someone hitting the floor. Jeff rolled his eyes and entered his home. Shutting the door, Jeff gazed around his empty living room. The kitchen and dining areas were also Annie-free but the door to the bathroom was open. Jeff walked towards it at a leisurely pace, listening for any indication of the activity within.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if the Dean was still living near Jeff's apartment during s5, but for the sake of comedy I kept that s4 tidbit.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie knows. Annie's heard things, seen things; discussed things with everyone except the one person who can clear up the whole mystery of what opened the door in Borchert's laboratory.

There was one new message.

_Miss Edison, you have been placed on the shortlist for position #AACL541. We will call you within three working days to arrange a second interview._

Annie stared at the screen. She counted a number with her fingers and then put her phone away. Checking her face in the mirror, Annie grabbed a tissue from the box on the vanity. It was the last one. She sighed and used it anyway, dabbing it around her eyes to remove the excess signs of moisture.

“Are you decent?”

Jeff’s voice broke her trance and she could feel the tears welling up again. Annie blinked them back and mimed a strong ‘no’. She put the tissue into her coat pocket and walked out of the bathroom. Annie smiled at Jeff as he stood to the side. “I just got a text from the library. I’ve been shortlisted.”

“That’s great. Congratulations.” Jeff stepped forward to embrace her. Annie accepted the hug, blinking back more unruly tears. She kept her head low as she backed away from Jeff and walked through the living room. Jeff whispered her name just as Annie neared the door. Her legs stopped working when he spoke again. “Milady?”

Annie shook her head. Her tear ducts seemed intent on playing hardball, so Annie decided to just throw a curveball at her feelings. She turned around and quickly realised she’d missed her mark. Jeff was at her right side with one hand poised on the liquor cabinet.

Annie sighed. She sat on the sofa, pulled the crocheted scrunchie from her hair and let her dark locks frame her brooding face. A moment of realisation later, Annie looked up at Jeff still standing by the cabinet. His eyes seemed to be burrowing into her very soul. Annie shook her head. “I should have left you at Greendale.”

“What?” Jeff joined her on the sofa. “What’s wrong, Annie? I thought you would be hap—?”

“What’s _wrong_?” Annie scoffed. “What’s wrong with you, Jeff?”

“Huh?”

“I’ve heard a lot of things today; actually this past week. I know you and Britta aren’t getting married, which is…” Annie shrugged, “I don’t know.”

Jeff chuckled, “Great news? You know it wouldn’t have worked.”

Annie looked straight at him, “Why not?”

“’Cause I don’t—,” Jeff pulled a cushion out from behind his back. “Britta and I— we’re ridiculous together. That’s what you said, right?”

“Um,” Annie sucked her bottom lip. She glanced at the liquor cabinet, “I said a lot of things.”

“Like how we should respect each other?” Jeff smiled when Annie turned back to him. “Let others want what they want, no matter how self-destructive or empty our desires are?”

Annie’s brow furrowed. “You remember all that?”

“I remember what I felt.” Jeff swallowed, “Abed told me your exact words earlier today. It’s partially what sent me to Duncan’s liquor stash.”

Annie glanced at Jeff’s liquor cabinet again. “I might be ready for some now.”

“The only thing in there is the Glencallan Pierce bequeathed me.” Jeff shrugged. “I’m not exactly ready to drink it yet.”

Annie nodded. “I’ve never worn that tiara.”

Jeff got up from the sofa, “How about you wear that tiara when you get the library job and we’ll celebrate with a glass of fine scotch?”

“De—,” Annie paused. “It’s a deal if, and only if, you tell me truth Jeff.”

“What truth?” Jeff stopped by the kitchen bench.

“Borchert’s lab,” Annie fiddled with her scrunchie. “It wasn’t the Dean, was it? Your,” she licked her lips, “blast of passion.”

Jeff’s shoulders dropped. He shook his head, “Of course not.”

“Was it Britta?” Annie looked up at him.

“Not Britta,” Jeff answered straight away. Annie watched him take a deep breath. She smiled at him with eyebrows raised. He scowled back at her, “Not Abed either. _Annie_ —“

She stood and proceeded to tie her hair loosely. Jeff caught hold of her arms and then moved his hands to her shoulders. Annie glanced at each of them. “It was a _platonic_ blast of passion?”

“It was more than platonic,” Jeff admitted. “Annie, I—”

“Before you say anything else, I need to confess something.” She frowned when Jeff’s hands left her shoulders. “I’ve been avoiding you this past week.”

“I’ve been avoiding you too.”

“I know,” Annie nodded. “And when I realised why, I got upset. But it’s not your physical absence that upset me. It was—”

“Everything else?” Jeff sat on the back of the other couch. “I know I haven’t been completely there with you, Annie. I’ve been shutting myself off from you for years, and I realised that in Borchert’s lab. I felt it before Raquel did. I just didn’t get it clear in my head until that door opened. And then I was just too scared to deal with that realisation. It took me a whole week to find the courage to do something about it, and even then I needed a little prompting.”

Annie smiled, “A little liquid courage.”

“No.” Jeff chuckled, “Abed first and then Duncan. I know. Neither would be anyone’s first go-to for relationship advice.”

“Nor the person I saw,” Annie glanced to the side and then at Jeff. At his look of confusion, Annie clarified who it was. “Britta.”

Jeff’s brow furrowed. “Did she—?”

“I can tell she’s not _happy_ about it, but she’s not angry either.” Annie shrugged, “What did Abed say? Was it just—?”

Jeff pursed his lips. “I saw you counting on your fingers before, in the bathroom. I looked in just as you were checking your phone. Abed said you did that at home too; the finger-counting. I didn’t understand, but he said something about binary code and that you can work that out in your head, so why would you need to count on your fingers? I—,” Jeff paused, shrugging. “I still didn’t understand. He said your head had been fuzzy since we saved Greendale. He said you spent so much effort trying to save Greendale that you didn’t realise you were drifting from me until Britta and I—” He sighed, looking to the side.

Annie squinted. “Why did he say all that? I haven’t—”

“He also said he’d read your diary,” Jeff smirked.

“I’m gonna kill him.” Annie muttered through her teeth. Her right hand formed a fist and then Jeff’s left hand covered it. Annie stared at his hand while he spoke.

“Just wait until Troy can make it for the funeral and I can get you off on an insanity plea.”

Annie smiled, and then frowned. “Troy, Pierce—” Annie moved back to the sofa. “So much has changed this year. I was afraid of losing Greendale for a lot of things, but mostly because I didn’t want to lose the foundation of our group. That place was where I started feeling accepted for who I was. It may’ve sucked some years out of my life and not really helped me with my career plans, but Greendale gave me a family. A family more accepting and complicated and crazier than anything I had experienced before. It gave life to my robotic and rational existence. It allowed me to grow as a person and not slide back to the stilted over-achiever I was in highschool.” She paused when Jeff sat beside her. “I was afraid to lose Greendale because I thought I might lose a part of myself if I lost that foundation. I nearly did before you came back to the campus. You started the study group, Jeff. I may not have been part of your original plan for it, but I’m really glad I found it by accident.”

Jeff smiled. “The group wouldn’t have been the same without you Annie. You were there to call me out on my bullshit from the start. I put so much effort into learning nothing that I didn’t notice when I was actually learning something until— Well, I worked it out later.” He repositioned himself sideways on the sofa; one leg bent under the other, his left foot hovering dangerously close to Annie’s. “Remember when we did that model U.N competition?”

“Oh god,” Annie covered her face with her right hand. She then stared at Jeff clasping her other hand in his. “What about it?”

“The world still needs more women like you. Greendale or no Greendale, you’ve got the ability and the intelligence to survive out there. You just have to believe in yourself like you did with everything Greendale threw at you. Dioramas, paintball games, Chang, lost pens, people who aren’t worthy to share your name, yam-murderers, Chang, expulsion, gas leaks, ass-crack bandits, The Dean, drunk and idiotic psychology professors, minuses, Chang, Subway—”

“Jeff,” Annie chuckled. “I get it.”

“And me,” he squeezed her hand. “Not that Greendale threw me at you, but I threw things at you that you didn’t deserve. I expected so much from you and hardly gave you anything in return.” Jeff looked down for a moment. “I’m really sorry, Annie.” He looked back up again and brushed her hair out of her eyes. He sighed. “I don’t deserve to have you in my life.”

Annie frowned. “Jeff, is this the scotch talking or—”

He kept his eyes locked on hers as he stood and offered his hand, “Milady.”

Annie swallowed. Her knees suddenly felt numb. She stared at Jeff’s expectant expression; his eyes barely blinking, his forehead creased, his mouth jerking at the sides every few seconds. He was just as nervous as she was. Annie willed her legs to function and accepted Jeff’s offer, “Milord?” She hadn’t meant it to be a question, but she had no time to analyse it. Jeff pulled her off the sofa and caught her when she stumbled into him. Annie murmured an apology as she patted his chest; then she giggled and smiled at Jeff smirking back at her. She took a step backwards.

Jeff took a step forwards and grabbed her waist. His lips were on hers immediately afterwards. She could taste the scotch on his breath. Her hunger for more of it hindered her ability to stand, but luckily Jeff caught on to the problem before Annie tripped over her own toes. They fell onto the sofa with ease. Annie leaned forward, placing one hand on Jeff’s thighs while the other hand attempted to move his head in another direction. She heard him mutter something and then he pulled away.

“Is that bubblegum lipgloss?”

Annie pursed her lips and slid back onto the sofa, not daring to look at him.

“It goes well with the scotch.”

Annie managed a quick glance before his smirk turned her frown into a happily smothered grin. This time Jeff leaned into her. She felt one hand on her back pulling her closer. Jeff’s other hand was finger-walking around her legs and soon she was sitting on his lap. Her hands felt around his neck and his hands moved up and down her back. Annie leaned into him, but there was something small and pointed sticking into her hip. “Ow,” she murmured, moving her head to look at the spot. “Okay, I know that’s not—”

“What is it?”

“Something in your jacket,” Annie stuck a hand in the pocket and pulled out a key. “Where does this go?”

Jeff stared at it. “Um, that’s Duncan’s. I think it was for his window.”

Annie smirked. “The one you were going to climb out of?” Jeff grimaced and shrugged. Annie tossed the key over her shoulder. “Bet you’re glad you—” Jeff pulled her into another kiss. As their lips parted, Annie gasped.

“What is it?”

“I left my car outside.”

Jeff nodded, “That’s generally where cars go.”

Annie whacked the back of her hand against his chest. “It’s in a no-parking zone— I think.”

“Annie,” Jeff cupped her cheek. “I want to take this slow.”

“What?” Annie’s brow furrowed.

“This _thing_ that we have,” Jeff’s mouth moved around as if he was trying to say the right words. “That we never quite spoke about before the make out.”

Annie felt her shoulders tense. “You don’t want to—?”

“I _do_.” Jeff smiled as he breathed out. “I really _really_ do, just—”

Annie’s shoulders relaxed. “Not yet,” she nodded. Annie slid off his lap and got off the sofa.

“And I don’t want to keep this— keep _us_ a secret, but I don’t want everyone to know right now.” Jeff picked up Annie’s briefcase and placed it into her hands. “I want to have you in my life and know that it’s real first.”

Annie nodded, “So no holding hands in the corridors.” She started walking towards the door.

“I don’t yet know what Greendale’s policies are about teacher student-teacher relations.” Jeff smiled when Annie turned back to him. “But maybe we could at Disneyland.” Annie’s eyes lit up. “It would be my first time out of Colorado,” Jeff walked towards her.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Annie’s whole face beamed. She took hold of Jeff’s hands. “You would actually—?”

Jeff kissed her quiet, “How about this summer?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end of the "Air Conditioning" part of the fic. "Risk Management" begins in Chapter 4 and is a lot more 'comical'.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step 1: Leave the apartment as if nothing has changed  
> Step 2: Accidentally prank the Dean  
> Step 3: Keep the prank going  
> Step 4: Accidentally make it even worse

The elevator doors opened just as Annie glimpsed the end of a pink feather boa coming out of room 203. She stood in between the doors watching while Jeff’s cute wave turned into a fist. His smiling eyes then glared at his interrupting neighbour. Annie opted to duck into the elevator and let Jeff deal with the Dean on his own. She pulled her phone out to send a text, but it buzzed with a new message before her thumbs hit the keys.

  _Dean Dangerous eavesdropped. Took stairs 2 C U go. Bar door somehow. He won’t B fast in those heels._

Annie shook her head. She looked at the unlit floor numbers and positioned a finger near the G button. The elevator doors opened. Annie peeked into the empty corridor. The doors to both Jeff's and the Dean’s apartments were closed. She stepped out and then checked the stairwell. It also looked empty, but she could hear the Dean’s muffled mutterings two floors down.

“Oh, where _is_ she? I can’t— her car’s _still_ there. Where did she go?”

Annie listened to the tapping of heels against concrete.

“No, no. It took too long to get down. I’ll take the elevator.”

Annie rolled her eyes and let the door close gently against its frame. She pulled her phone out and sent a message to Jeff: _Ignore Boa Deanstrictor. Hiding in stairwell._ The ping of the elevator sounded just as Annie noticed Jeff’s reply. It was only a bunch of emoticons: unicorn, birthday cake, umbrella, devil face, clown face.

“Huh?” Annie stared at the screen.

*****

Jeff stood in the middle of the corridor, holding his phone to his head while eyeing the stairwell door. He turned to see Craig Pelton stumble out of the elevator still wearing those ridiculous boots with high heels and shoelaces that were clearly coming undone. Jeff rolled his eyes at the sight.

“Did you see Annie drive off?” Jeff asked as he typed out a text. The Dean responded with a gulp and a whimper. Jeff’s brow furrowed. “Did you? I tried to call but there’s no answer. I guess she’s driving home now.”

“I couldn’t _find_ her!” the Dean leaned against the wall. He stuffed part of the feather boa in his mouth.

“You were just too slow.” Jeff drafted the text message.

“Her _car’s_ still there!” the Dean cried.

Jeff tugged on the other end of the feather boa in a threatening manner. “What?”

“Annie’s car, it’s—” the Dean danced on the spot and then fell to the side sprouting more tears.

Jeff let go of the boa. “Take the elevator down; I’ll check the stairs.” Jeff pushed the door ajar and watched while the Dean slowly stood up, leaving the feather boa on the floor. He frowned at the man’s demeanour. “Why don’t you take those stupid shoes off?”

The Dean looked at the pink and purple boots with their glittery pink laces. He turned back to the stairwell door, which was swinging closed again. The Dean sighed and plodded towards the elevator. He pushed the down button.

*****

“Annie?” Jeff whispered. He glanced all around the stairs. “Annie, it’s safe.”

Annie appeared at the top of the next flight of steps. Jeff smiled at her and walked up a few steps until his eyes were level with hers. He glanced down to see she was holding her shoes.

“Your feet must be cold,” Jeff lifted Annie off the concrete and kissed her. He smirked at the sound of her shoes hitting the steps.

“Jeff,” Annie pushed against his chest. She smiled when she looked down upon Jeff’s head, but frowned when she realised he wasn’t looking at her face. “Jeff!” she cuffed his ear. He cringed and let her stand on the next step up. Annie held onto Jeff’s shoulders. “Jeff, I think we should—”

“Where’s your other shoe?” Jeff muttered.

Annie stared at the single flat shoe lying by the railing. “Uh,” she looked back at Jeff and they both cringed at the creak of the door two floors down.

“Annie!” screamed the Dean.

“Go back to my apartment,” Jeff whispered. “Put your phone on silent. I’ll text you when it’s safe to come out.” Annie opened her mouth, but Jeff put a finger to it. He gave Annie the remaining shoe and guided her back into the corridor. She opened her mouth again, but Jeff shut the door on her. He clambered down the stairwell until he saw a strange looking flamingo crouching on the ground and cradling Annie’s lost shoe. Jeff noted the Dean’s tall laced boots placed at the bottom of the steps. Jeff sighed. “Dean, let it go. You’re tampering with the evidence.”

“Evidence?!” the Dean shrieked and threw the shoe aside.

Jeff took his phone out and started dialling.

The Dean’s flamingo headdress fell to the floor as he stood. “Are you calling the cops?” he bent over to collect the headdress.

“I’m calling Annie.” Jeff turned away from the man’s pink feathery behind.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Step 5: Realise you're in too deep  
> Step 6: Try to ignore that realisation  
> Step 7: Repeat Step 3  
> Step 8: Appreciate how incredibly smart your as-yet-undefined lady love can be under pressure

Annie paced the floor behind Jeff’s sofa. Her internal debate on the evilness of her prank soon got interrupted by the vibration of her phone. Jeff was calling.

“He said he’d text,” Annie whispered. Her brow furrowed as she squinted at the screen. She let it go to voicemail and stared out the window while she waited for the message alert. “I’m an idiot. My brain’s all mushy.” Her phone vibrated again. Annie put the phone to her ear and listened to the call:

_“Annie, I… stay safe.”_

_“That’s all you can say to your girlfriend? I thought—”_

Annie sat on the sofa and then flopped to the side. “This won’t stay secret for long.” Her phone vibrated again with a text message. Annie sighed at the random symbols including a shoe and spanner. “I have to stop this.”

* * *

Jeff knelt beside Annie’s lone shoe and took off his jacket. Using one jacket sleeve he picked up the shoe and examined all sides. There was a slight scuff on the sole at the toe. Jeff wrapped the shoe in his jacket and daintily placed the bundle on the third stair.

“If she’s not your girlfriend, what is she?” the Dean huffed. “I know you two like to pair up in social activities but now it’s reached a whole new level of creepiness.”

“Says the man in the flamingo costume,” Jeff rolled his eyes.

“Oh,” the Dean put a finger to his mouth. “You noticed.” He bent over to pick up his two-toned knee high laced boots. Pink and white tail feathers brushed against Jeff’s arm.

Jeff cringed as he backed away. “You know those birds pee on themselves, right?”

Dean Pelton turned around. “It’s to keep cool! They live in a very harsh environment.”

“Oh, you did your research.”

“Of course,” the Dean smiled and his shoulders bounced. “I’m going to a fancy dress party next week. The theme is Africa; some kind of charity thing for the Ebola crisis. I’ve got a giraffe costume on loan as well, but I think I’ll go as—”

Jeff pushed past him and grabbed the bundle from the stair. He then took two or three steps at a time until he reached his floor. His phone vibrated when he opened the door into the corridor.

“Abed?” Jeff frowned when he saw the text.

  _Where’s Annie? She should be home by now. Unless…_

The elevator opened. Dean Pelton stepped out surprised to see Jeff staring at his phone. He shuffled towards him. “Did you make contact with her? Is she safe?”

“No,” Jeff shook his head. “It’s just Abed wondering where—” He looked up to see the Dean at his apartment door. “Wait!”

The door opened and the Dean walked in. “I’m gonna call the cops if you won’t.”

Jeff followed and stared at the empty living room. The Dean looked around the kitchen and then skipped towards the bedrooms. Jeff gasped and called out: “Annie!” His hand reached for the kitchen bench, but he purposefully missed it and fell to the floor. “Oh my god, Annie.” Jeff kept his eyes on the carpet until he heard the Dean’s rushed footsteps. He sobbed, perhaps a little too much, and endured a not-so-confident squeeze of his shoulder.

It wasn’t as dramatic as when his summer was stolen from him in 2012, but Jeff used that memory in his attempt to get the appearance of grief just right. That and losing his law practice, feeling so low he took those ‘fountain of youth’ pills, almost losing Greendale, and what the past week had been like. Then Jeff tried to think about what it would be like if he actually _did_ lose Annie like this.

It was then he felt a tear drop from his left eye. Jeff blinked it back. He pushed the Dean away and stood while holding onto the kitchen bench.

“Are you okay?” the Dean asked. “I’m going to call the cops now.”

“No,” Jeff muttered. He looked into the hallway. There was no sign of Annie. Jeff tried to think of where she could have gone. He stared down at his jacket on the floor. Annie’s shoe peeked out from underneath. Jeff picked the bundle up and then looked at his phone. There was another text from Abed.

_Annie called. Car trouble. Also phone trouble. Go to her._

Jeff squinted at the screen, “That’s very un-Abed.”

The Dean sighed. “Do I call the cops or not?”

“Get out,” Jeff gestured for the Dean to leave.

“What?”

“She’s outside. Her car wouldn’t start.” Jeff grabbed his keys and walked into the hallway. “Now, get out.”

“But—” The Dean tottered towards his apartment. “If she’s been outside all this time, why was her shoe in the stairwell?”

Jeff shrugged. He locked his door and moved to the stairwell door.

“I’m glad Annie’s safe.” The Dean uttered before retreating into his home.

* * *

 

Annie jumped up from the stair upon hearing heavy footsteps hurrying in the opposite direction. “Jeff!” she called, careful to keep her voice low. It came out sounding just a little too manly, but it managed to do the trick. She looked over the railing to see Jeff grinning back at her from two flights down. Annie started jogging down the stairs, but slowed down after one flight. She rubbed her feet once she reached Jeff and happily exchanged her briefcase for the fallen shoe.

“So—” Jeff pursed his lips.

“Rachel texted you,” Annie explained as she put her shoes back on. “I called her and asked her to do that.”

Jeff nodded. “Well, that explains that.”

They smiled and walked down the last flight of stairs. As they entered the foyer, a janitor shuffled by dragging his broom behind him. He turned around and leered at Annie. Avoiding his gaze, she shrunk back into Jeff’s taller frame and he wrapped his arms around her. The janitor put his hands up, dropping the broom handle and then laughed off his clumsiness. Jeff and Annie skipped past him and exited the building.

“Sorry about that,” Jeff uttered as he put on his jacket. “Didn’t realise how skeevy he was before.”

“The whole thing was a bad idea, Jeff. It got way out of control.”

“What?” Jeff blinked, “No.” He placed one hand on Annie’s shoulder. “The Dean’s just melodramatic. You know that.”

Annie shrugged. “I also know people aren’t playthings. It had to stop. Besides,” Annie looked up at him with her doe eyes. “He _knows_ , doesn’t he? We can’t hide it from him. He lives next door to you.”

“Hopefully not for long,” Jeff whispered. His hand slid down her back.

“What?” Annie put one ear forward.

Jeff leaned in close. “We’ll need someplace to hook up.”

Annie chuckled, “Hook up?”

“You know what I mean.”

Annie nodded and then stepped aside. “Not at my place.” She moved in the direction of her car. “Everyone will know within half a day.”

Jeff walked alongside her. “Then I guess we’ll just have to go to Disneyland sooner than planned.”

Annie smiled up at him. “I need to find out about that job first. And we should probably wait until some kind of holiday break.”

“We timed this all wrong,” Jeff sighed. He noted Annie’s shrug and continued his thoughts out loud. “I should have worked out my feelings earlier.”

Annie stopped to give him a gentle slap on the chest. “ _Much_ earlier,” she stated with a smirk. Annie kept her eyes on his face. His expression changed from delight to something more serious. Annie’s mouth gaped, and she breathed in sharply when Jeff pulled her towards him. She let out a brief “whoa” before his lips were on hers, his tongue slipping into her mouth for a moment. Annie moved her arms around his back, finding his shoulders as he leaned further down to take all of her in. His hands held both her waist and her head, keeping her close and stable.

They parted only to breathe and take note of their surroundings.

“That was,” Annie paused to catch her breath. “Wow.” She smiled up at Jeff’s goofy grin. “That was public.”

Jeff glanced around them. “Is Leonard spying on us?”

“What?”

“We should get you a taxi.” Jeff took his phone out. “Unless you want me to walk you home from here.”

Annie shook her head. “I’m sure my car’s—”

“The game might be over, but the pretence is still up.” Jeff cupped Annie’s cheek. “By the way, how did you lose your shoe?”

Annie furrowed her brow. “It dropped, remember.”

“In the stairwell,” Jeff reminded her. “You left by the elevator.”

“Oh.” Annie pouted. “Um.” She shrugged. “It got caught in the door, and I went to the stairwell to check it. But I fled when I saw the scary janitor guy.”

Jeff smirked. “That’ll work. You’ve still the game in you, Edison.” He looked through the contacts on his phone.

“But that’s only to save my initial idiocy,” Annie explained. “Speaking of,” she paused to touch Jeff’s wrist. He smiled at her with one raised eyebrow. Annie smirked. “Was he dressed as a flamingo?”

Jeff tried to stifle his laughter and almost dropped his phone in an attempt to cover his mouth. Annie’s giggle soon became an uncontrollable chortle. She tried to stifle her mirth with her briefcase. Then Jeff took hold of it.

“No,” he breathed out. “This’ll work for both of us.”

Jeff leaned towards Annie and kissed her mid-giggle, but her merriment won out in the end. She stepped back and hid her face with her arm.

“Dammit, Annie.”


	6. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abed and his stomach are very happy now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! \o/

Annie was thankful someone else had driven her home; and a stranger at that. The taxi had arrived five minutes after she’d gained control over her laughter. She felt a little embarrassed by her reaction, but she’d been holding it in for more than twenty minutes. It was bound to explode at one point; better with Jeff only than anyone or anywhere else.

Now she sat in the back seat of the taxi with her briefcase on her lap, holding her emotions in check yet again. Annie breathed in and out, preparing to face the world outside Jeff’s vicinity. Fooling the Dean was just the teaser. Now she would have to keep this secret from Abed and the others.

“Oh, who am I kidding? Everyone will know soon enough.”

“What was that, miss?” the driver uttered. He stopped the taxi beside a line of cars.

“Uh.” Annie opened her briefcase. “How much do I owe you?”

The driver smiled. “Your boyfriend paid online.”

“Oh.” Annie looked out the window at her apartment block. “Well, thank you.” She opened the door and got out of the taxi. She waved to the driver and then turned towards the building. “Nothing has changed.” Annie pouted, and then squinted as her lips stretched out. She grinned with teeth clenched. “This’ll be fun,” she muttered.

* * *

Rachel greeted her at the door holding a half-full bowl of buttered noodles. “Oh, hey,” she swallowed a mouthful. “Did everything go to plan?”

“Yes.” Annie smiled. “Thank you.”

Rachel gave a thumbs-up. “I’ve deleted the texts so Abed doesn’t question anything.”

“I can hear you,” Abed called out from his chair. Rachel smiled and joined him in front of the television.

Annie walked to her room and put the briefcase on her bed. A buzzing sound alerted her to a new text. It was from Jeff:

_Your car got towed. It’s in my spot. Booked a taxi for you. 10 am.  
Come here then take me to Greendale to get my car. We could also raid Rhonda’s filing cabinet for policies._

The text ended with symbols of a unicorn, flowers and a heart. Annie’s eyes widened. She pocketed the phone and moved towards the kitchen. Taking out a bowl and a can of soup, Annie started humming.

“She sounds happy,” Rachel remarked. Abed grinned and took hold of his phone. Rachel leaned over to read the screen. “Jeff. _Thanks for the pancakes_?” Abed moved the phone away and sent the message. He turned back to Rachel and put a finger to his mouth.

“Did someone say pancakes?” Annie called from the kitchen. “I could make some now, or tomorrow. Maybe now. Do we have all the ingredients?”

Abed’s phone vibrated:

_You’re welcome?_


End file.
